now I can hit both towers at once

▶︎ ●────────── 0:29

Me after I played my phone for 8 HOURS:

I heard that if you show a Little Ass, you get more likes.

When I see people come into my job for
interviews

I heard you guys are smart

Perfectly timing your popcorn for the movie feels like a superpower

Planning to be productive, but somehow procrastinating turns into a full-time job

Winning the last slice of pizza feels like achieving true victory in life

Wondering how your phone storage is 90% memes and screenshots… but not regretting a thing

Knowing you’re late but trying to look calm and collected, like time itself doesn’t apply to you

The pure joy of not needing an alarm tomorrow is what dreams are made of

Rehearsing what you’re going to say on the phone like it’s opening night of a Broadway play

Enjoying the weekend but already mentally preparing for Monday like a true adult

Realizing your favorite jeans have “shrunk” and by shrunk, I mean it’s clearly the dryer’s fault

Lying in bed, debating if you should actually get up… spoiler alert: you won’t

Treating yourself to dessert because surviving the day deserves a reward

Feeling personally attacked when your favorite snack gets discontinued like the universe is conspiring against you

Me after accidentally pressing call when i'm reading old chats:

Be honest