Thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want snacks and naps.

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I like the classic oggy

6 y/o me

You have to accept their cookies

Walking past the fridge and pretending you didn’t hear it call you? That’s real strength.

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I was doing in record time.

My wallet is like an onion: every time I open it, I cry a little more.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. Can’t have that.

The first five days after the weekend are the toughest. But then, it’s the weekend again.

I didn’t lose my mind. It’s just taking an extended coffee break.

Dear sleep, I was wrong. Please take me back. I’ve changed.

Doing nothing is harder than it looks. How do you know when you’re done?

I don’t need motivation. I need snacks. And maybe a nap.

Trying to work while daydreaming about pizza. Priorities, right?

My relationship with Mondays? It’s complicated. Mostly hate.

Being an adult is just convincing yourself that everything’s fine while it slowly crumbles.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness clearly never ordered pizza delivery.

I told myself I’d start working out. Then Monday showed up, and I ghosted it.

My favorite hobby? Eating. My least favorite? Regretting it immediately after.