I chase dreams, but they have better cardio.

I stress so hard I forget the reason.

I ghost group chats with zero guilt.

I dodge responsibilities like I dodge ads.

I survive chaos with snacks and audacity.

I argue with myself and still lose.

I reply mentally 10 times before texting.

I treat sleep like it’s optional DLC.

I take breaks from breaks.

I start diets on Mondays I never meet.

I answer emails with full emotional detachment.

I fake laugh so well I deserve an Oscar.

I train daily by carrying emotional baggage.

I blinked once and lost the plot.

I celebrate small wins like finding WiFi.

I lift my phone more than weights.

If stress burned calories, I’d be invisible.

Can I uninstall adulthood and install a game instead

Overthinking level: Google regrets knowing me.

I don’t have bad handwriting. I have my own font.