My mirror said “wow” but my scale said “bruh.”

I’m not ignoring you. I’m just on airplane mode emotionally.

I didn’t forget—it’s just buffering in my brain.

I act like everything’s fine, but I just googled “how to disappear.”

I follow my dreams. But they keep ghosting me.

I have two moods: 1) Overthinking 2) Eating to escape #1.

My heart says “adventure,” but my body says “blanket fort.”

When life gives me lemons, I ask for iced coffee.

I schedule my panic attacks between snacks.

I’m built different… mostly out of stress and pizza.

My GPS reroutes like my life choices — frequently.

I’m not bored. I’m just buffering.

Me trying to hide my laziness under "self-care."

I failed the vibe check but passed the nap test.

That awkward run-walk you do when someone holds the door.

My personality is mostly caffeine and sarcasm.

I don't ghost people. I just fall asleep for days.

My motivation comes in waves. Mostly low tide.

Every group chat has that one person who never replies. It's me. I’m the ghost.

Me vs Me: Let’s wake up early. Also me: snoozes 12 times like it’s a game show.