Checking the fridge every 5 minutes like it's a Netflix series.

When you try to eat healthy but the junk food whispers louder.

They said “act natural” so I became a human glitch.

Why make decisions when you can overthink and panic instead?

When your plans get canceled and suddenly life feels worth living again.

Me after doing one task: I deserve a 3-hour break and emotional support.

When you finally fix one problem and three more show up like backup dancers.

I google “how to be an adult” every Monday.

I laugh too hard at my own typos.

I get emotionally attached to playlists.

I expect applause for basic tasks.

I dodge phone calls like dodgeballs.

I whisper my goals to avoid jinxing them.

I schedule my life around cravings.

I wear pajamas like it’s formalwear.

I exist in caffeine and chaos.

I give life advice I don’t follow.

I fake confidence like WiFi bars.

I fear commitment—except to snacks.

I analyze memes like literature.