Me: wakes up late Also me: “Why is the day already over?”

My superpower? Hiding my chaos behind a good meme.

Me on the outside: “I'm fine.” My search history: crying emoji

My fashion style? Laundry day survivor.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at snacks.

If laughter is the best medicine, why am I still broke?

Too glam to give a damn—too broke to show it.

Me opening messages like it’s a horror movie.

I'm 100% tired and 200% done.

I need a pause button for adulthood.

Me: “Don’t say it.” Me to me: “Say it!”

I act like I’m okay, but I want pizza.

I narrate my misery with background music.

I scroll like I'm training for a thumb Olympics.

I daydream like it’s a full-time gig.

I argue with the microwave timer.

I put “thriving” on silent mode.

I treat my phone like a therapist.

I practice fake laughs in the mirror.

I emotionally invest in fictional characters.