I eat emotions with extra cheese.

I treat deadlines like dares.

I zone out like it’s a coping strategy.

I lose focus faster than a goldfish.

I leave parties mentally before I arrive

I watch one episode and suddenly it’s tomorrow.

I attend meetings with my camera off and soul gone.

I scroll faster than my will to live.

I press snooze like it owes me money.

I invest in comfort food stocks.

I hide from life behind "I'm busy."

I upgrade everything except my sleep schedule.

I eat with emotions I don’t understand.

I ghost plans like a pro.

I pause videos to emotionally prepare.

I turn small talk into panic.

I reply to texts mentally.

I hide pain behind good WiFi.

I’m the boss of avoiding tasks.

I scroll like it’s therapy.