Me waiting to say 'I never liked her anyway' but I like her

Deserved better

forget diet

You never stop clapping

Your pet thinks

A giraffe’s cough

‘No offense’

We’re all just

‘Do not try this at home’

Me: Plans a whole day of productivity

When you finally decide what to watch

Me watching my food in the microwave

That feeling when you try to close a door quietly

When someone says 'Let’s hang out!'

Me: I should get some sleep

Why do we put cups in the cupboard

If electricity comes from electrons,

The word ‘bed’

If olive oil is made from olives

Why do we call it ‘falling asleep’